A gentle beginning and the right timing

When planning to share the news with your firstborn, consider their age and understanding of time. For most children, nine months is too long to wait, so there’s no need to rush. The younger the child, the closer to the birth you may want to introduce the topic. The visible growth of the mother’s belly will also help make the change more concrete.

Equally important is how you share the news. Choose a day when your child has enjoyed plenty of your attention, is in a good mood, and you have time to answer their questions (there will be many—so be ready!). It also helps to choose a calm period in your family life, avoiding overlap with other major changes (such as starting kindergarten, moving house, or potty training).

Realistic, yet positive associations

If possible, visit a family with a newborn or watch short videos about babies together. Speak openly: keep the tone realistic but positive. For example:

“Babies cry a lot, that’s how they tell us something is wrong. But as we talk to the baby, they’ll slowly learn to talk too. What do you think their first word will be?”

Learning about babies together

Don’t just follow the growing belly—take it further by reading books together about babies and child development (both scientific and those written for siblings-to-be). For example, the newly published Lithuanian book “Sofija Learns About Babies” offers short stories for siblings, following a baby’s development from birth to six months.

These stories help children grasp the slow pace of development and normalize stages that might otherwise be hard to understand (fragility, hygiene needs, mobility progress, feeding, mouthing, language development, etc.). The clearer the picture of what to expect, the easier the transition will be once the baby arrives. Later, the books also serve as a helpful reference when older siblings ask, “Why can’t my brother/sister play with me?” or “Why can’t they roll a ball yet?”

Only the necessary changes

While preparing your child for the shifts in family life, emphasize what will stay the same—especially beloved routines or rituals. Avoid unnecessary changes if you can. If you’re planning transitions like moving your child to their own room, potty training, or starting kindergarten, either start well in advance or wait until the initial excitement of the new baby has settled. If the due date is very close, consider postponing major changes until after your child has adjusted to the new family dynamic.

Filling the “cup of love”

When the baby arrives, your older child will inevitably face moments of waiting. This will be much easier if their “cup of love” is already full—a vital resource of patience and tolerance.

Spend plentiful quality time together now. Capture your adventures in a photo album, which will later be a comforting reminder during days filled with feeding, changing, and naps. Once the baby is born, continue to plan special one-on-one moments—afternoons, half-days, or even full days together. Time alone with each child is just as important as shared family activities.

Read books slowly, leaving room for questions, and be prepared to discuss not only the present stage but also the ones to come. That’s why “Sofija Learns About Babies” covers the entire first six months—it allows children’s curiosity to be met step by step. You can even replace the character names with your own children’s names to make the stories more relatable—and then read them again and again!

When you can’t meet the need immediately

• With a newborn, you’ll face situations where you can’t respond to your older child right away. Prepare in advance:

• Quiet activities or play kits reserved for these moments, making them feel special.

• Supportive language that gives context without shifting blame onto the baby:

• “It’s the baby’s feeding time now. Once I’m finished, we’ll find a snack for you.”

• “It’s quiet time. Would you like to rest together, or look at a book while I put the baby down?”
• “I hear the baby needs my help. As soon as I can, I’ll come back to you—I’m curious to see what you’ll come up with while I’m gone!”
• A joyful short-term plan to look forward to—anticipation itself can be as fun as the activity.